WWE Lockdown
by kra-z4moore
Summary: After the WWE superstars get locked into the arena. How will they get out? Or will they at all?


**Sumary: After the WWE superstars get locked into the arena. How wil they get out? Or will they at all?**

**Disclaimer: Copyright goes to World Wrestling Entertainment.**

**"WWE Lockdown"**

_There was a lockdown in the arena. They'll either have to wait til morning or find a way out. But for most of them waiting is not an option._

**Jeff Hardy:** Who's there? (pauses) Who said that?

**Matt Hardy: **No one, you idiot.

**Shannon Moore:** I heard it too.

**Matt: **Shut up, Shannon. You'l scare him even more.

_He slaps Shannon in the head._

**Shannon (rubbing his head):** OW!! That hurt and I'm scared to.

_**-Door Slams-**_

**Edge:** Wait! Randy... wait!

**Randy Orton: **No!

**Edge:** I'm sorry. I thought you'd like me if I gotthe sex change.

**Orton:** Well, I don't. Don't you even care how I feel?!

**Kenny Dykstra:** Don't worry, Randy. I'll be okay.

_He rubs Orton's back._

**Edge:** Don't touch him, you cheer leader!

_He pushes Kenny, and then Keny pushes him. They roll around on the ground._

**Orton:** Stop fighting, you two. Please... SOMEONE HELP!

_Orton bites his nails in antipation for the two to stop._

**Jeff: **Matt, we should've got help.

**Shannon:** No, Jeff, remember the last time we helped gay people?

**Matt (shaking his head): **He's right. Let them work it out.

_They walk off._

**Shannon:** Where are we?

**Jeff:** I don't know. But.. it's really dark and scary. Matt.. I'm scared.

_Jeff grabs Matt._

**Shannon:** I'm scared too.

_He grabs Matt as well._

**Matt:** Get OFF!

_TheY get off._

_Kurt Angle runs by, and Jeff flinches to the noise of a loud crash._

**Kurt Angle:** Where's my MILK?!

_He runs to Jeff. _

**Angle:** Have you seen my milk?

**Jeff:** Nope.

_Angle runs off._

**Shannon:** Wierdo...

_Boogeyman suddenly appears from the ceiling._

_Jeff squeals and and jumps on Matt._

**Jeff:** Make it go away!!

**Matt:** Get off of me, you stupid ass!

**Jeff (sniffles):** You don't love me.

_Jeff starts to cry and starts having a fit._

**Jeff:** Hey, I'm not a baby!

**Narrator:** Sorry...

**Shannon: **Wow... you're hot!

**Narrator:** Look! GAY people!

_The narrator disappears while the group looks around._

**Jeff:** Where'd the pretty lady go?

**Matt:** Probably hiding from you two idiots.

**Shannon (grinning):** She likes me.

_Jeff sticks his tongue out._

_Angle runs by Kenny and Edge and pulls them apart._

**Orton:** My hero!! Now.. I'll award you with a kiss!!

**Angle:** NO! Do you know where my milk is?!

**Edge:** No... we don't care about your stupid milk.

**Angle (gasps):** You... you... you.. MILK HATER!!

_Angle attacks Edge, as John Cena walks by._

**John Cena:** Ya'lls wack homie!

_Cena walks off._

**Announcer Box:** Excuse me! Everyone.. please report to the-- stop! Um, please report to that square thingy... with ropes... and stuff...

_**Everyone heads to the ring.**_

**The Rock:** Who dare calls The Rock away from his pie?!

**Angle:** Have you seen my milk?

**Rock:** No, The Rock hasn't seen any milk.

**Torrie Wilson:** Carlito... I'm scared.

_Torrie clenches to Carlito._

**Carlito:** Uh.. yeah, Carlito will protet you.

_Carlito walks over to JefF and spits an apple in his face._

**Jeff (wiping his face):** Ewwww... GROSS!

**Torrie:** Thank you, Carlito.

**Carlito:** Yeah, no problem.

**Edge:** Randy!! I'm sorry!

_Edge chases Orton around the room._

**Maria:** People! I called you to this square thing with ropes to make an announcement.

**Everyone:** BOOOOOOOOOO!

**Maria:** I'm a girl!!

**Jeff: **Nah, duh.

**Maria:** I eat paint chips!!

**Jeff:** Nah, duh.

**Maria:** I'm horny!!

**Jeff:** Nah-- ME TOO!

_Matt slaps Jeff in the back of the head._

**Matt:** Here...

_Matt hands Jeff a sucker._

**Jeff:** Yipee!!

**Rock: **You called The People's Champion away from his pie to hear this jabroni say she eats PAINT CHIPS?! You ruined The Rock's pie!! Make The Rock another one!

**Angle:** Do you have any milk?

**Rock:** NO! The Rock does not have any milk.

**Orton:** Someone get this metrosexual, psycho, athetic moron away from me.

**Shannon:** A Moore On!? Where?! It's always nice to meet a fan!!

**Matt:** Not that kind of moron, you dumbass.

**Narrator:** He's a sexy retard.

**Shannon:** Thank you! Hey.. wait... don't... go!

_Matt rolls his eyes as the narrator disappears._

**Edge:** Randy, I love you. Please... stop running away from me!

_Edge begins getting angry. Droping to his knees, he starts yanking on his hair as his face turns tomato red._

**Orton: **NO! I want Kenny not you!

**Edge:** Why?! I'll... I'l go undo the sex change!

**Orton:** It's too late.

_Orton turns away from Edge._

**Edge:** Please...

**Orton:** Don't...

**Edge:** Don't you want to try it out atleast once?

**Orton (sighs):** Fine... let's go.

_Orton and Edge find their way to the closet._

**Rock: **NO! THE ROCK DOES NOT HAVE ANY MILK, YOU JABRONI!

**Angle:** Mommy, don't be mad.

**Rock:** Mommy?! MOMMY?! THE ROCK IS NOT YOUR MOMMY!

_Kurt clings to Rock._

**Angle:** Sorry.. please don't leave. I stil don't have my milk.

**Rock:** Get... off... THE ROCK!

**Matt:** Hey, how about we play a game to pass the time?

**Jeff:** YAY! I LOVE game time!

**Angle:** YIPEE! Jeff's on MY team!

**Jeff:** YAY!

**Shannon:** What about me?

**Angle:** Who are you?

**Jeff:** He's the Prince of Rejection, Shannon Moore.

**Shannon: **I am NOT! Stop calling me that! Watch... I don't get rejected.

_Shannon walks over to Candice Michellle._

_The guys watch as Shannon starts to talk, but Candice responds with a slap right in his face._

**Jeff:** See, told ya!

**Angle:** Yeah... what'd you say?

_Shannon: I asked her if she wanted a Mooregasm. Then I called her a Moore Whore._

**Matt:** That's not how you pick up a lady.

**Jeff:** How do you know? You're single...

**Matt:** No one asked you.

**Rock:** You jabronies are all annoying! No one is hotter than THE PEOPLE'S CHAMPION!

**Carlito:** That's not cool.

**Rock:** No one interupts The Rock!

**Maria:** I'm not made of pie.

**Rock:** PIE!? WHERE?!

**Angle:** MILK?! WHERE'S THE MILK?!

**Rock:** No one said anything about milk, jabroni.

**Angle:** You're so mean!

_Angle starts crying._

**Matt:** God, Help me please...

**Narrator:** I'm not God, but maybe I can help.

**Matt:** YES! PLEASE!

**Narrator:** What can I do?

**Matt:** Uh--

**Shannon:** Hey! It's you! You're hot!

**Narrator:** Thanks, you are too.

**Matt:** Hello?! I was talking!

_Narrator disappears._

**Matt:** Great, you scared her away!

_Matt slaps Shannon in his head._

**Shannon:** Me?! I didn't scare her! It was probably your ugly face.

**Narrator:** Matt's face ain't ugly!

**Shannon:** What about me?!

**Narrator:** Neither is your's.

**Matt:** You're crazy.

**Narrator:** I'm a crazy bitch!

**Shannon:** Can I climb on top of you?

_**-Silence-**_

**Shannon:** Hello?

**Matt:** She's gone.

**Jeff:** I want to play the game, Matt!!

**Matt:** Uh... everyone shut the fuck up.

**Jeff:** OOH! I like the sound of that game! How do you play?!

**Matt:** Everyone shuts the fuck up and the person who stays quiet the longest wins a prize.

**Jeff:** YIPEE! When does it start?

**Matt:** Right now!

_**Everyone gets silent.**_

_A few seconds later, a humming noise starts. _

_Everyone looks at Jeff._

**Jeff (stops humming):** I can't hum?

**Angle:** HA! You lost!

**Maria:** So do you!

**Torrie:** Maria, you talked too.

**Carlito: **Torrie, you lost too.

**Torrie:** Oh, Carlito.

**Shannon:** Who's left?

**Matt:** Well... it was peaceful while it lasted.

**Rock:** HA! The Rock wins! Give me my prize!

_The Rock holds out his hand and waits patiently._

_Matt pulls out five bucks._

_The Rock looks at it._

**Rock:** That's not pie. I want PIE!

**Angle:** And milk!

**Rock:** No, no, no, NO, NO, NO NO MILK!

**Angle:** Stop yelling at me! (pauses) AHH!! MILK FAIRIES! BRING ME MY MILK!!

**Jeff:** Milk fairies?! Where?!

**Matt:** Jeff, there are no milk fairies.

**Jeff: **There's not?

_Jeff begins to cry._

**Matt:** The world is coming to an end.

**Narrator:** Not really.. just your world.

**Matt:** Thanks, that's great.

**Narrator:** Hey, cheer up, you're hot.

**Matt:** Makes me feel better..

**Narrator:** Glad to help!

_Shannon runs up._

**Shannon:** Wait! What about me?

_**-Silence-**_

**Shannon:** She's gone! It's all your fault, Matt!

**Matt:** She was hot.

_**-Noise in Closet-**_

_Orton and Edge exit the closet._

**Orton:** Wow...

**Edge: **Wow? So...

**Orton:** I... still want Kenny.

**Edge:** WHAT?!

**Orton:** I want you too... both of you...

**Edge:** I had this done because you complained about being gay! I went and got a sex change just so you could be HALF STRAIGHT!?

**Orton:** I just complained because you didn't have anything.

**Edge:** But--

Rock: Where is The Rock's pie?

Angle: And milk?

Rock: NO milk.

Angle: MILK HATER!

Rock: The Rock Says Damn Straight.

_Everyone gets quiet as they hear a loud scraping noise._

**Jeff:** AHHHH! What is it?! Save me!

_Jeff jumps on The Rock._

**Angle:** MOMMY!

_Angle jumps on Rock as well._

**Rock:** Get OFF The Rock!!

**Matt:** SHHH, I'll see what it is.

**Jeff:** Be careful, Matt.

**Matt:** Don't worry, Jeff, I'll be okay.

**Jeff:** Matt... if you die can I have your pillow?

**Matt:** My pillow?

**Angle:** If you die can I have your milk?

**Matt:** My milk? My pillow? HELP ME!

_**Matt walks down the hall, as everyone follows him closely behind. The noise gets louder.**_

**Maria:** YUM! This is good.

**Jeff:** AH! It's hideous!

**Matt:** Jeff, that's your reflection.

**Jeff: **AHH! It's staring at me!

**Matt:** Stop looking in the mirror then... and Maria what are you doing?

**Maria:** Eating paint chips.

_Matt grabs the mic from her. And, Jeff stands completely still._

**Matt:** Jeff, move.

**Jeff:** It's watching me.

_Matt takes the microphone and breaks the mirror._

**Jeff:** My hero!

_Jeff jumps on Matt and starts kissing him._

**Matt:** JEFF!

_Matt throws him onto the floor._

**Shannon:** Jeff, if you want to be gay, go and join Edge and Orton?

**Faarooq:** DAMN!

**Rock: **The Rock wants to know where in the blue hell your candy ass came from.

**Faarooq:** DAMN!

**Rock:** Answer The Rock!

**Faarooq:** DAMN!

**John "Bradshaw" Layfield:** Can you say anything else?

**Faarooq:** DAMN!

**Bradshaw (ranting):** I hate it when people can't talk, that's why I hate Kane. I can't stand MVP and his ass is on fire and I hate gay people that's why I hate Micheal Cole and I hate Santa Clause. I also hate when people act like rednecks when their from god damned Asia and Japan. Asian people are not rednecks. He is a disgrace to asians and...

**Rock:** The Rock Says if you don't shut the ell up, he's going to take this half brick, shine it up real nice, stick that son of a bitch sideways and shove it straight up your candy ass!

**Faarooq:** DAMN!

**Bradshaw:** You can't talk to me that way! I'm the longest riegning WWE Champion im history! I am John "Bradshaw" La--

**Rock:** It Doesn't Matter Waht Your Name Is!

**Booker T:** He didn't just say that... TELL ME, he didn't just say that!

**Matt:** Can we please get back to the fucking story? We need to get the fuck out of here!

**Lita:** I agree.

**Matt:** Where in the hell did you come from? Shouldn't you be on your street corner, you horsehumping bitch?

**Faarooq: **DAMN!

**Jeff:** What's a horsehumping bitch?

**Shannon:** You.

**Jeff:** Really?! COOL! I'm a horsehumping bitch! YAY!

**Angle:** OOH! OOH! I wanna be one too! OOH! Pick me! Can I be one too?

_Angle jumps around raising his hand. _

**Shannon:** Yes.

**Angle:** Cool.

**Jimmy Wang Yang:** Let's have a ho-down!

_Trish Stratus walks up and pushes Lita down._

**Trish: **Look! Ho, down!

_Matt laughs. Then, Lita attacks Trish. Tomko and Christian finally sepeate them_.

**Christian:** I heard there was a ho down. Why aren't you on the floor, Trish?

**Tomko:** I can solve that problem.

_Tomko laughs evilly._

**Trish:** You know what, Christian--

**Rock:** The Rock wants to get out of this hell hole cuz he can't stand all of you jabronies.

**Jeff:** I KNOW!

**Cena:** Yo, I wanna get back to myz crib.

_Cryme Tyme walks up._

**JTG:** Y-yo-yo-yo, YO! YO! YO! YO!

_Cryme Tyme gives them all high fives, and hugs._

_**-Faint music plays-**_

_**So, everyone walks to the ring.**_

**Chris Jericho:** Welcome to RAW IS JERICHO! My special guest on the Highlight Reel is one half of The Hardys...

_Everyone looks at Matt._

**Matt:** It's not me.

**Y2J:** Jeff Hardy!

_Jeff heads down to the ring._

**Jeff: **Thank you guys! It's deafening in here!

_**-Silence-**_

**Rock: **The Rock Says... You Suck!

**Carlito: **That's not cool.

**Matt:** Get your ass down here!

**Jeff:** But, I wanna play with Chris Jericho.

**Y2J:** Leave Jeff alone, you assclown.

_Daivari runs down the ramp flailing his arms like a baby._

**Davari:** (No English Subtitles)

**Rock: **The Rock can't understand you.

_Then Kane all of a sudden comes out and everyone runs away except for Angle._

**Angle:** Do you have any milk?

_Kane tombstones Kurt then walks away, and everyone returns to the ring._

**Matt:** What was that all about?

**Cena: **Yo, that homie G's on crack, nah' mean?!

**Rock:** The Rock wants a gun.

**Shawn Micheals:** OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!

**Triple H:** He can do that all night, ya know?

**Rock:** Who put these two jabronies in The Rock's story?

**Narrator:** Who in the blue hell said it was your story?

**Rock:** You can't talk to The Rock that way!

**Narrator:** Rock, if you keep on I'll put you in a polka dot dress and make you skip merrily down the ramp holding hands with Vito. What do you think about that?

**Y2J:** Yeah, whaddya think about that, Junior?!

**Rock:** The Rock Says... No.

**HHH:** I went and destoryed the pie factory.

**Rock:** The Rock Says FUCK YOU YOU PREMATURE IMPOTENT--

**HHH:** When the fuck did you see my dick, fuck face?!

**HBK:** Trips, this ain't Blade Trinity.

**HHH:** Yeah, sorry, I had a flashback.

**Matt:** God, help me. Am I the only one sane here?

**Jeff: **Yes.

**Matt:** Shut up, Jeff.

**Shannon:** Hey, Narrator? You forgot about me. I haven't had a line for forever.

**Gregory Helms:** Everyone forgets about you anyways.

**Shannon (mimicking The Hurricane):** Wuzzupwitat!?

_Jeff jumps around acting like The Hurricane, so Helms attacks him._

**Jeff: **AHH! It's a biological attack! Help me, Matt!!

**Matt: **Excuse me, Narrator? Can you please do something with Gregory Helms?

_The lights go out and then come back on. Undertaker briefly appears and then disappears when the lights flick back off, along with Gergory Helms._

**Matt:** Thanks.

**Jeff:** I'm ALIVE! Matt! Can you die and come back to life?

**Rock:** The Rock wishes you would die and NEVER come back.

**Narrator:** Rock... remember what I said about Vito? Leave the mentally challanged people alone.

**Jeff:** I'm not mentally challanged.

**Narrator:** Just keep telling yourself that.

**Shannon:** Okay, since you're talking to people where are my damn lines?

**Narrator: **Uh... over there!

_Shannon looks and the narrator disappears again._

**The Miz:** This is the true story of when The Miz came to the locked down arena.

**Y2J:** Oh great, another assclown.

**Miz:** HOORAH!

_Jeff and Angle jump up and down yelling Hoorah. _

**Kurt:** M-I-L-K!

**Jeff:** P-I-E!

**Rock:** PIE! Where is The Rock's GOD DAMNED PIE!?

**HHH:** I told you I destoryed the pie factory. Well... first I ate all the pies...

**Rock:** You jabroni! I can't believe you ate all the pie!

**HHH:** Uh... yeah.. and it was... (WHAT?) Good.

**Jeff:** Do you (WHAT?) hear (WHAT?) that (WHAT?)

**Shannon:** Someone is saying what (WHAT?)

_Glass breaks and Stone Cold's music plays. He comes from the darkness doing the fingers and drinking the beers._

**Stone Cold:** Give me a Hell Yeah!

**Rock:** Shut The Hell Up! You jabroni!

**Austin:** Listen you meally mouthed bastard, I'm 'bout to stomp a mud hole in your ass and walk it dry! And, that's the bottomline.. cause Stone Cold says so!

**Matt: **WOULD EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP?!

_**There's nothing but silence.**_

**Matt:** THANK YOU! WE NEED TO FIND A GOD DAMNED WAY OUTTA HERE! YOU GUYS GOT THAT?! GOOD NOW... Does anyone have any suggestions?

**Jeff:** I--

**Matt:** SHUT UP! Raise your hand if you want to talk.

_Jef raises his hand nervously._

**Matt (sighs):** Yes, Jeff?

**Jeff:** Matt, I gotta go potty.

_Matt punches Jeff in the face._

**Matt:** Does anyone have any REAL suggestions?

**Molly Holly: **Golly Gosh! Maybe we should split up!

**Rock:** The Rock wants to know where you came from.

**Angle:** Do you have any milk?

**Matt:** I TOLD YOU NOT TO SPEAK UNLESS YOU WERE SPOKEN TO! Now, Molly that is a good idea. I'll be the leader of my group and The Rock will lead his. I'll take Jeff, Shannon, Cena, Maria, Booker T, Trish, Christian, Tomko, Daivari, Cryme Tyme, HBK, HHH, Miz, Molly, and Kane. And Rock will take the rest of you. Anybody disagree, didn't think so!

**Cena:** Yeah, he didn't think so PAHTNA!

_**They split.**_

**Rock:** The Rock is the leader of you jabronies so come this way.

**Orton:** No Edge, I don't want you! Go back to Lita.

**Edge:** But Randy, I love you!

**Orton: **What? Really?

**Edge:** I love you Randall Kieth Orton.

_They go to kiss. (Sorry, I don't write slash, so Lita interrupts.)_

**Lita:** Edge, baby? There you are.

**Edge:** Lita, go hump a dead moose. You cock juggling thundercunt.

**Lita:** I'm only that on the weekends!

**Angle: **AH-HA! I knew it!

_**Back at Matt's group, everyone is silent because Matt was pissmad.**_

**Matt:** This silence is awkward. Somebody say something.

**Jeff:** Okay!

_Matt covers Jeff's mouth._

**Matt:** Not you, Jeff.

**Shannon: **hey, what time is it?

**Angle:** It's time for MILK!

**Jeff:** Wrong group, Narrator.

**Narrator:** Oops, sorry.

**Matt:** Anyways...

_They make their way to the front door of the arena, and check to see if there is any way to open it._

**Jeff:** Everbody BACK UP!

**Matt: **Why?

**Jeff: **JUST DO IT!

_Everyone backs aways from the door and Jeff walks to the end of the hallway._

**Matt: **Where are you going Jeff?

**Jeff:** Just move and stay out of the way.

_Jeff screams and then runs face first into the door._

**Molly:** Good, golly gosh! Are you okay, Jeff?

**Matt (laughing):** Dumbass.

_**Back at The Rock's group...**_

**Torrie:** Did you hear that?

**Carlito:** Carlito will protect you, Torrie.

**Lita:** I'm scared too. Someone comfort me.

**Bradshaw:** I'll comfort you, Lita.

**Y2J:** I wouldn't do that if I was you...

**Bradshaw:** Why?

**Y2J:** She's a herpes, infested gutterslut.

**Bradshaw (ranting):** How dare you you talk to her that way! I hate women beaters, Benoit makes me sick, poor Vickie was helpess. Just like Kristal! Miz left her to be wormed by Boogeyman! He is sick, he shouldn't be allowed into a building! They should lock him in the bottomess pit! Just like the Taker! They should put him in a cage in Death Valley and let a fire start and singe his skin so he can look just like his brother Kane! Kane is a mute just like Faarooq! All he can say is DAMN! this and DAMN! that GOD DAMMIT!! It's so fucking annoying just like that clown Hurricane dude. Gergory Helms was beter off a super-hero wanna be. What the hell and over here we got ourselves a damn asian trying to be a damn redneck and he is an ass clown just like Jericho! All he can say is ass clown. He is so gay! I hate gay people, Edge and Orton should go kill themselves! and cheerleaders.. Kenny, stop trying to be cool, you are a gay ass cheerleader! Angle is close enough to a cheerleder, always cheering for milk! I HATE milk! And that brings me to Austin. (WHAT?) Beer is not that great! He thinks he's a badass but we all know he's just a little cry baby! He is so un-cool and that's why I hate Carlito! He thinks he is so cool with his little apple and because he spits in somone's face! I hate everyone in this group and the leader thinks he's cool with his little half brick all (WHAT?) he does is talk in third-person (WHAT?) I (WHAT?) hate (WHAT?) all (WHAT?).. STOP (WHAT?) SAYING (WHAT?) WHAT!! (WHAT?)

**Faarooq:** DAMN!

_**-Matt's Group-**_

**Jeff:** AHH, am I gonna die?

**Johnny Nitro:** Hopefully...

**Molly: **Good, golly, gosh, where did you come from?

**Nitro:** I'm too important and sexy to just disappear!

**Melina:** You got that right, baby!

**Shannon:** That's NOT right because I'm supposed to be the one who's bringing sexy back.

**Booker T:** You didn't just say that.. TELL ME, you didn't just say that!

**Miz: **Hoorah!

**Cena:** All ya'llz is wack, holmes!

**JTG:** Yo-yo-yo-yo, wuzzup? Where are we?

**Matt: **We're still at the front.

**HHH: **We gotta find another way out.

**HBK:** Yeah, let's go.

_**They leave and walk through the building.**_

**Maria: **PINECONE!

**Jeff (laughing his ass off):** SHE SAID PINECONE!!

**Shannon: **You're stupid!

**Jeff:** I know you are, but what am I?

**Shannon:** A retard...

**Jeff:** I know you are, but what am I?

**Matt:** SHUT THE FUCK UP!

**HHH:** C'mon, let's go to the ring.

**HBK:** Good idea.

_**-Rock's Group-**_

**Rock:** The Rock Says... we all go back to the ring.

**Bradshaw:** Well, I think The Rock--

**Rock:** IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!

_Everyone goes to the ring._

**Matt:** Look, there's The Rock.

**Jeff:** I KNOW!

**Rock:** The Rock did not find away out!

**Matt: **Niether did we.

_**Mr. McMahon goes to the ring.**_

**Vince:** All of you are useless!! YOU ALL SUCK! YOU'RE AN EMBARRASSMENT TO ME AND MY ENTIRE COMPANY!! YOU... YOU'RE FIRED!!

**All:** DAMN!

**-THE END-**


End file.
